I’m not happy in my life

I’m not happy in my life. I feel like I just cause problems for everyone else and I don’t know what to do.

Our Answer:
It seems that you’re mentioning two different things. One is that you yourself are not happy and the other is that, because of you, other people are having trouble, which might mean that they’re also not happy.

I’ll take the second statement first, ” I feel like I just cause problems for everyone else and I don’t know what to do.” It’s always helpful to pause and consider the vastness of the material world and the smallness of each of us. We’re each just one of trillions and trillions of living entities in a giant cosmos – so it would be impossible for us to cause everyone problems.

Furthermore, each of us has our own free will. We can choose to either get upset by something, or not. The material energy sends different circumstances and we have the “right” to react as we choose…in other words we cause our own problems to a great extent…they are not caused by anyone else. However there is a possibility that, due to close ties, our behavior can impact the lives of others and therefore we have to consider carefully how we act so as not to hurt or disturb anyone by our actions.

Whenever we understand that a specific behavior is hurting someone else, then we have to consider carefully how to alter that situation so others are not negatively affected. But despite our best efforts, others also have the responsibility to choose whom to associate with, what problems of others to adopt as their own, and what situations they need to avoid. The final word is that everyone takes some responsibility in his or her own suffering or enjoyment, which leads us to your first statement: “I am not happy in life.”

If you’re searching for happiness in the material sphere, you’ll never be truly happy. In the material world, all sources of enjoyment/happiness are temporary and ultimately cause suffering. Whatever material things we get pleasure from – even relationships with other people – are bound to end at some point and then cause some sadness or suffering. That’s just the fact of material life.

However, there’s another source of happiness that is not temporary and destined to cause us sadness: our relationship with Krishna! This is so because He is eternal and so vast that He has the ability to have eternal, loving, and satisfying relationships with each of us simultaneously. The question is, do we want to work on developing our relationship with Krishna?

If the answer is “Yes, that’s my desire,” then it becomes easy. We can read the Bhagavad-gita, chant Hare Krishna, go to see Krishna and pray to Him in the temple; we can always serve Him in some way, by offering our work, money, prayers, food, flowers, or whatever to Him before we try to get our quota of happiness out of these things. In this way Krishna becomes pleased and, since He is the ultimate source of happiness, we become happy and peaceful.

Generally, if we travel back to the source of our frustration or unhappiness, we find that it’s because we’re attempting to control some aspect of the material nature in order to get more and more of something — thinking that when I get a certain thing, or have a certain amount of something then I will suddenly feel “happy” and satisfied. Unfortunately, the more we have, the more we want, and we never quite seem to have enough of anyone or anything. So we’re always hankering for that which we want/need more of or lamenting that we don’t have enough.

It’s a cycle, which we must break if we truly want to be happy. We have little or no control of this cycle. We have to look for our happiness in that situation which is eternal and always blissful and is easily available to each of us. Then we can be truly happy.

I hope that this is helpful.


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